| This is hands down one of the hardest letters I'm ever going to have to write, but it has been a long time coming. I need you to know how much you mean to me. I don't think I have to write it out. I've also expressed it to you verbally many times. So at this point in time, I won't go into those details. I just want you to know.
I never thought that I'd get to this point, but the time has come for this journey of ours to come to an end. It hurts too much to continue. This isn't going to make me happy. Saying goodbye is never easy. I feel a bit disrespectful in doing so in an email. How impersonal, huh? To share and enjoy what we've enjoyed, yet it all amounts to this short burst of 0's and 1's that will be sent over a thousand miles in a split second. Just like that I'm going to lose a best friend.
I will always be here for you always, should you ever need me. I don't think I'm being vain in thinking you'll need me, but you don't always admit it to yourself that you need people. You know all of my hangups, my insecurities...in many ways, better than I know myself. The distance, while early on, threatened our relationship, has only enhanced it these past few years. And yet, I still find it limiting and debilitating. I need you in my life. For some weird and wacky reason, I need validation from you that you CAN'T/WON'T give me and I can't get from anyone else. I understand. No really, I do understand. To you, it is not necessary for you to openly communicate to me every single day. You have a life all of your own, one in which I am not an integral part. I finally accept it completely. I think in your own way you've been trying to tell me this for a while, but I just didn't clue in. (Duh...how many times in the past 6 months have we had this conversation, right?) I hate being this vulnerable, this broken, this bothered by one person that doesn't fathom the importance I've placed upon them. This is not to make you feel guilty. I'm just telling you. By letting you go, I can go forward and focus on relationships that I should've given my full attention to begin with. And you can do whatever it is you need to do or whatever it is you do without the constant distraction that I know I can cause.
Anyway, I love you. I wish you the absolute very, very, very best in your life. I will think fondly of you and there is no malice in my heart for you, only pure and affectionate love. Thank you for all of the sensational moments that we shared. I will treasure them always. I'm glad to have grown with you and have enjoyed the past several years by your side.
Take care of you. You are such a special soul
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| i dont know what i want with my life anymore
everything i had in my world that was so perfect
is getting out of reach from where i had it
im losing everything |
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| dont take my advice if your not going to use it |
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